Cooking cannot be carried on without the materials...

So. Here I am again. My best of intentions shattered in my kitchen, and I am defeated. I tried to get all fancy up in this kitchen, and as we all know the best laid plans of mice and this main girl definitely go astray.

I used to live in Clyde NY with my sister Amy. For all intents and purposes, let us just say she WAS my social life while we lived there. And where is it that two bored Main sisters in the middle of nowhere would find themselves on a slow Tuesday evening? At random Italian restaurants, of course. Well, Clyde does not truly offer the plethora of deliciousness that we were used to while living in Rochester, so we had to venture out into the unknown to get our gastro-whatnot on.

We found an awesome place in Waterloo NY. It is called Ciccino's. Amy and I probably ate there once every week, or two. I knew what I was going to get even before Amy would suggest going: brie/apple/cranberry stuffed chicken breast, over a bed of spinach with basil cream sauce. It sounded odd enough for me to want to try it the first time, and although it looked pretty grossly green, I loved it enough to get it every time I went there.

Needless to say I do not live in Clyde anymore. However, I miss Ciccino's delicious chicken.

Enter my disastrous intentions. I want some of that. I found a recipe for the sauce yesterday on the internet. I wrote it down and memorized the ingredients. Alas, I needed a food processor. I do not own one.

Stage 1: Cooking cannot be carried out without the materials of...
Cara and I ride together to school, so my first challenge was to try to convince her that we should go into town instead of promptly dropping her off at her house. This was no problem since she wanted to return shoes she knew she wasn't going to wear to Sears.

We got to Sears, and I quickly left it for Bon Ton. I found an awesome Wolfgang Puck 4 cup processor that was listed for $140 but was on sale for $60. Feeling like I had just gotten the deal of my life, Cara and I went shopping in Wegmans to get all of the ingredients.

Now, I am not someone who strictly believes in signs, but the gods of cooking were trying to tell me something when I got to Wegmans and found out they had no basil in stock. I should have listened.

We all know I am a determined girl and cannot be persuaded from reaching my goal if it is something I decided that I wanted to do. "I will have basil cream sauce if it is the last thing I do today!" Cara and I went to a local store, and I bought a ridiculous amount of basil.

Stage 2 A mass of ingredients stored up in my kitchen does not in itself make a cook...
I get home, wash the basil, and wash the food processor, all the while singing to myself and feeling ecstatic about yummy food. Then, I have to get the garlic ready. Now, I am not "fancy" as everyone knows. I buy my garlic in a jar usually, but I just bought a food processor. Right? I should use the real deal. I get the garlic to break off into shards and then realize, "I have absolutely no idea what I am doing."

Stage 3: Enough with my Caton References and Bring in the Professionals...
HELP! I know my mom doesn't use garlic, not minced, not genuine, not anything. Who can I call? I know; the genious Giannoni twins to the rescue. I call Tracey...crap straight to voicemail. I will call Lora. (Also, it is important to note that I am pretty sick at the moment. All day no one has recognized my voice on the phone or even in the hallway. I realize Lora will not know who this strange person is on the phone.) She answers. I immediately declare myself as Ruthanne with a really strange question. I have garlic shrapnel, and I don't know what to do. Lora is my hero. "Well, get a large knife and put it over the garlic pieces. Then squash it, and remove the papery stuff." (I am taking great liberties with what exactly she had said.) I followed her instructions perfectly and what do you know, it worked.

Stage 4: Get to Getting on with it and Process the Crap out of that Stuff...
I read all of the instructions in the manual on how to work that processor. I put all of the pieces together carefully, checking the illustrations to make sure that I am doing it right. I have it all together, hit the reset button, plug the machine in, insert the ingredients, and then hit the button. Nothing. NOTHING? What? Common, seriously? I re-read the manual hoping I missed something important. I remove all of the ingredients, put it back together properly, hit the button again, and NOTHING.  GGRRrrrrrr. I call the helpline for this stupid machine. Office closed for the day. Apparently, no one cooks after 5pm.

Good intentions, I shake my fist at you. Wolfgang Puck?  Hmmm I am not even going to go there.   I need Giannoni lessons. I need them badly.  Cough(desperate cry for help)cough.